Swinging might be a lifestyle that’s been knocking about for donks but to some the way it all works is like a fascinating, secret world.
But a lot of it really isn’t that secret, from plenty of couples opening up their dynamics on social media to the signs that can be spotted in plain sight.
A whole load of these can be found on cruises, particularly ‘spicy cruises’. Cruise trips seem pretty popular with swingers, as they take their lifestyle practices onto the open seas.
Primetime trailer
And there’s a number of ways they’ll signal to others what they’re looking to get up to.
Far more low-key than just sticking an upside down pineapple sticker on their cabin door, a former cruise ship worker explained the meaning behind a black ring.
A black ring is more than just a fashion statement (Getty Stock Photo)
That meaning is obviously that, the person is a swinger and looking others to have fun with.
Explaining hidden symbols is Lucy Southerton, a former cruise ship worker of 10 years, who has since made content about her work on YouTube.
In one video, Lucy broke down some of the symbols frequently associated with swingers – and it includes this fairly inconspicuous jewellery choice.
One tell she points out included a person wearing the black ring on their right hand.
“One other that I’ve heard is there’s a black ring on your right hand,” she said.
However, the former cruise ship worker did note that a black ring worn on the right hand may not always necessarily mean a swinger, as someone may just happen to own a black ring which perfectly fits a finger on their right hand.
“But that’s a little bit more inconspicuous because can you imagine if you went up to someone and you’re like, ‘Hey, I can see that black ring on your right hand’ and they are like, ‘Yeah, it’s just a black ring’.” she said.
It’s a simple way to spot a swinger. (Getty Stock Image)
There’s even a whole site dedicated to selling the accessory to help swingers send the clear message while they’re out and about.
My Black Ring sells a variety of styles with reviews saying that wearing theirs to a bar was ‘like being part of a secret club where everyone was friendly and delightful’.
And the site explains just what wearing the ring really means as well as the little rules around it – the most obvious being that it must be black.
It says that the black ring should be worn on the right hand and on any finger but the middle one.
“A black ring worn on the middle finger of the right hand is an infrequently used symbol of asexuality,” it adds. “Please avoid wearing your ring on this finger as a courtesy to that community.”
The site says wearing the ring helps the effort to ‘help us all discretely identify others in the swinging lifestyle’.
It explains: “Wear your black ring on your right hand if you are out and open to meet other swingers.”
The ring is to be worn only when you want to be recognised by other swingers and is ‘a way to start a conversation’.
Former cruise ship worker explains hidden meaning behind someone wearing a black ring
Wearing a black ring on a ‘spicy cruise’ is meant to be a clear signal of your intent
A low key fashion accessory carries a very hidden message in certain travel circles.
Former cruise worker Lucy Southerton says wearing a black ring can act as a subtle sign of your intentions within the swinger lifestyle community.
Southerton, who spent around a decade working aboard cruise ships, said on her YouTube channel Cruising As Crew that ‘you can never really be sure if that’s just something they like to wear, or whether it is a signal’.
The content creator from Birmingham says wearing a black ring – particularly on the right hand – is sometimes used as a quiet indicator that the wearer may be interested in open relationships.
It’s worn because many people involved in these lifestyles prefer not to broadcast it publicly.
Adults-only cruises often consist of more like-minded couples (Getty Stock Images)
According to The Swinger Symbol (SS), wearing a black ring on ‘spicy cruise’ ships sends out ‘clear and loud message that you’re interested in a swinging adventure with the person you’re meeting’.
“On the off chance that somebody wearing a black ring approaches you, start conversing with them. ‘I see you’re wearing a piece of special jewellery. Perhaps, we are the members of the same club’,” the SS suggests.
A black ring could indicate that you’re a swinger (Getty Stock Images)
Cooper Beckett, host of the Life on the Swingset podcast, also said to The Stranger: “Wear your black ring on your right hand if you are out and open to meet other swingers.
“If someone wearing a black ring on their right hand approaches you, start a conversation with them.
“‘I see you’re wearing a black ring on your right hand. Maybe we are in the same club’.”
Beckett recommends to wear the ‘black ring on any finger but the middle one’.
Wearing a black ring on a ‘spicy cruise’ is meant to be a clear signal of your intentions (Getty Stock Images)
“The ring finger is the natural place for the black ring, but thumb rings are cool too,” the podcaster added.
“A black ring worn on the middle finger of the right hand is an infrequently used symbol of asexuality.
“Only when you want other swingers to recognise you.”
Annabelle Knight, from Lovehoney, emphasised that wearing a ring is much better for people who don’t want to sit there and needlessly justify themselves to others.
“Subtle signals probably started as a way for swingers to find each other without dealing with social stigma or misunderstandings,” she told The Sun’s Fabulous .
“Over time, as people have become more open-minded, these signals have evolved to balance discretion with the need to communicate openly.”